Ep #37: Part 1: Cancer is a Path to Self-Discovery: Self-Love

Today’s episode is a start of a 3-part series called Cancer is a Path to Self-Discovery, and diving into the first segment that’s all about self-love. The most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life is with yourself. That relationship guides all of your other relationships and the experiences you choose. Your healing, then, starts with yourself.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

+  3 strategies for loving yourself more (especially if you tend to be your own worst critic)

+  How to eliminate self-judgment and self-doubt

+  An exercise to help you lean into self-love

+  A short meditation to rewire your mind for more self-love

+  Truth & Dare Quote: Healing is the inside job that starts with you.

Featured on the Show:

+  Episode TDC# 21: Language Matters

+  Episode TDC #27: Self Judgement

+   WANT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU DESERVE? Whether your goal is to get healthy, change careers, improve relationships, focus on self-care… You can create whatever you desire. If you need help figuring it out, it's time for private coaching, no more waiting for Monday.

+  DARE Cancer is a structured coaching community and a safe space full of women who know what you’re going through and aren’t afraid to keep it real. Registration doors open in December - to get on the waiting list to be the first to know, go to darecancer.com.

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Truth & Dare Cancer, the only podcast that teaches you how to supercharge your self-healer, navigate fear, and recalibrate your life by using cancer as a powerful catalyst for change. On this show, we get real about all things cancer. And now here’s your host, cancer survivor, mathematician and certified life coach, Ceca Mijatovic. Hello and welcome! You are listening to the episode number 37 of the Truth & Dare Cancer Podcast. If you have not yet done so please subscribe to us on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast, and like us on Facebook. To access the show notes for this episode go to truthanddarecancer.com/podcast and select episode number 37. I’m your host Ceca Mijatovic and today we are starting a 3-part series called Cancer is a Path to Self-Discovery. What do I mean by that? Other people talk about cancer as a battle, a struggle, or a fight to be won.How can cancer be a path to self-discovery? The most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life is with yourself. That relationship guides all of your other relationships and the experiences you choose. Your healing, then, starts with yourself. Healing is an inside job. It’s very difficult to heal physically if we aren’t also seeking to heal ourselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So cancer affords us the opportunity to develop our relationship with ourselves. Because how you treat yourself influences everything: how you receive treatment, navigate practitioners, hear guidance, and relate to everyone along your cancer journey. Furthermore, by healing that part of us that spun out of control and caused the body to turn on itself (in the form or cancer), we can actually get well again by mobilizing the body to start healing itself. Cancer as a path to self-discovery is a deep topic, so we’re going to spend three whole episodes on it. Each episode in this series will include some teaching, an exercise for you to do, and I’ll wrap up with a short meditation. Today we’re diving into the first segment and we’re talking about self-love. Do you love yourself? If someone listened in to how you talk to yourself, would they know you love yourself? If someone observed you going about your day, would they see that you love yourself? Self-love is about forgiving yourself. Self-love is about reconnecting with your true nature - which can be easy to neglect in our culture. We’re socialized to act and live in certain ways that may or may not be in line with our deepest selves. Cancer can be an invitation to step out of our prescribed roles and back into our true nature. Today I want to share three paths back into self-love. First, be curious. Many women feel bad when they first get diagnosed and beat themselves up: What did I do wrong? I should have eaten better … I should have exercised more … I should have done XYZ, then I wouldn’t have gotten cancer. Instead of judging yourself for what you may or may not have done in the past, be curious about the present. Ask yourself, What could I do now to give myself the best chance at healing? Where am I not speaking up, or not being heard? How can I validate my own thoughts and feelings better so that I’m more aligned to my truth? And if you’d like to observe the past, this last question is the one to ask and learn from: In what way did I miss validating my thoughts and feelings? What emotions do I still need to feel and process? And you are observing as the answers become a bridge and a lesson for the present moment. Be curious, instead of judgmental.  Second, be forgiving. Throughout your cancer journey, you may identify areas you’re not proud of or notice yourself judging yourself. Create a softer attitude of forgiveness and compassion to say, Just because that happened in the past, doesn’t mean I can’t create a different experience going forward. Third, be kind. Be kind to yourself with your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Which brings us to today’s exercise! Sit down with a journal and ask yourself, How am I treating myself? Identify three ways that you’re treating yourself poorly: -- in your mind, -- with your words, and -- with your actions. In the last season’s episode # 21 titled Language Matters I explained in more detail how the language in particular has a lasting impact on our healing. So let me walk you through this exercise: on a piece of paper draw a line in the middle to create two columns. In the first column you’ll create 3 sections and provide 3-5 answers to each or the following three questions: Q1: How are you treating yourself poorly in your mind? Go ahead and jot down 3-5 answers Q2: How are you treating yourself poorly with your words? 3-5 bulleted answers would do Q3: How are you treating yourself poorly with your actions? Then in the column on the right, flip each of those and find a way that you could treat yourself in a more loving, forgiving way. Pin your answers somewhere where you can often be reminded of these answers and also snap a photo with your phone so you can have the answers on the go. And just a quick note: if you’re a part of my DARE Cancer coaching community, you get a full workbook to dive deeper into these podcast episodes, as part of the program! The workbook for this three-part series is called “Cancer is a Path to Self-Discovery: A 3-Step Process to Finding Your True Self.” If you are not a member of DARE Cancer yet, you can check it out at darecancer.com We are going to wrap up this episode with a short, 5-minute meditation. Get seated comfortably, on a chair or in bed, relax your jaw and your shoulders. Quiet your surroundings and silence all your devices, with the exception of the device you're using for this meditation Let's take a couple deep breaths, breathing in and out. One more time... breathe in and breathe out. Imagine roots coming down from your bottom into your seat however you are sitting, and if you are in bed with your legs straight, you can also imagine the roots going down from the backside of your legs, for extra grounding. As you maintain this slower breath rhythm... Bring one of your hands to your heart and put the other hand on your solar plexus, your belly.... take a couple of breaths. Now we are going to bring in the light coming through the crown of your head going all the way through your body. Coming through your head going down through your neck, through your torso, all the way down through your arms and your legs. Shining very brightly. ….just be with this bright radiant light. The hand on your heart is reminding you of the inner love, and the hand on your solar plexus is reminding you of your inner power. And imagine that with those two hands you're also holding your inner child just like a mother would hold a child. Soak in duality of that energy. This is your mighty self-love, your inner-lover and your wise, all knowing, inner-power that's all wrapped in this innocent and curious child. This innocent inner-child is bringing you back the wisdom, kindness and curiosity so that you can honor all of your thoughts and feelings: without self-judgment, without self-doubt, without self-hatred. This child also brings you a softer, more forgiving way of relating to yourself. Because this child IS you. As you're feeling more and more grounded, notice how the light that you brought in, is shining brighter and brighter in your heart center, as well as in the power center of your belly. These two lights are shining so brightly, they are overlapping and radiating together to bring forward: more love, more forgiveness and more kindness towards yourself. Stay there in that feeling as long as you'd like. Once you're ready to open your eyes, do so gently and jot down in your journal anything that you are reminded off and anything that comes up for you. Also notice any shifts. Write down anything you'd like to bring more focus to in the coming hours and days. In the third and final installment of this series, I’ll offer all three meditations as a free download in one audio file. Stay tuned! To wrap up quickly: healing is an inside job, and cancer can be an opportunity to drop deeper into self-love. If you’re wanting to bring more self-love into your everyday life, start with the three strategies I talked about here: be curious, be forgiving and be kind...to yourself! By healing the part of us that spun out of control and caused the body to turn on itself (in the form of cancer), we can actually get well again and mobilize the body to start healing itself. And that healing begins with self-love. Be sure to tune in to our next episode for part two of our series - we’ll be talking about self-care. In the meantime, practice ways to love yourself until we speak again! If you got value from this episode and know someone else that would get value from it as well, please share it with them. And in the meantime, I dare you to find the truth in your cancer! Thanks for tuning in. If you want to stop identifying with your cancer, you can download a free “You Are Not Your Cancer” guide at www.truthanddarecancer.com/podcastfreeguide.

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