Ep #55: How to Challenge Binary Thinking to Promote Inner Healing

Today’s episode is about how we can use external experiences for internal reflection. I talk about how binary thinking can prevent us from fully engaging with the issues in society and even our personal lives. The key to healing, on micro and macro levels, is challenging binary thinking and experiencing an “all in” energy. This allows us to tap into an abundance mindset.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

+   Why external experiences are important for your healing

+   How binary thinking can lead to polarization and anxiety

+   Two simple steps to encourage and promote your inner work

+   Truth & Dare Quote: When we are triggered externally by something, it’s important that we assess this internally.

Featured on the Show:

+   Facebook Live: Do you have an abundance mindset?

+   Video Blog Post: Silence is a Decision (Taking 100% Responsibility)

+   Episode #54: Black Lives Matter Movement Needs White Responsibility

+   Anti-racism Resources:

• How to Make this Moment the Turning Point for Real Change by Barack Obama 
• Why You Need to Stop Saying “All Lives Matter” by Rachel Cargle 
• The Stages of What Happens When There’s Injustice against Black People by Luvvie Ajayi
• Resources for addressing racism in ourselves, our neighborhoods and our businesses – by Pamela Slim
• 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice by Corinne Shutack

• Template For Holding Your Employer Accountable For Racial Justice by Rachel Cargle 
• Black Lives Matter: Anti-Racism Movies Streaming for Free by Film-school Rejects

 +   WANT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU DESERVE? Whether your goal is to get healthy, change careers, improve relationships, focus on self-care… You can create whatever you desire. If you need help figuring it out, it's time for private coaching, no more waiting for Monday.

 +   Are you looking to use your cancer as a catalyst for emotional self-awareness and powerful change in your life? That’s exactly what my work with Truth & Dare Cancer is all about. If you need help getting started, book a free consultation call, and we’ll explore how you can take the first step. To schedule go to truthanddarecancer.com/call.

+   I’d love to hear your perspective and thoughts about the sleep deprivation topic – just tag me on Facebook or Instagram @truthanddarecancer handle

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Truth & Dare Cancer, the only podcast that teaches you how to supercharge your self-healer, navigate fear, and recalibrate your life by using cancer as a powerful catalyst for change. On this show we get real about all things cancer. And now here’s your host, cancer survivor, mathematician and certified life coach, Ceca Mijatovic. Hello and welcome back! You are listening to the episode number 55 of the Truth & Dare Cancer Podcast. If you have not yet done so, go ahead and subscribe to us on Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast, and like us on Facebook. To access the show notes for this episode go to truthanddarecancer.com/podcast and select episode number 55. I’m your host Ceca Mijatovic and today I’d like to talk about how we can use external experiences for internal reflection. We have had a crazy and challenging few weeks recently and history is changing. As many of you know, I have been posting about the importance of the Black Lives Matter Movement a lot on my different platforms. I recently had a Facebook comment on one of these posts where one of the women in my private group wanted to know why I was posting about this movement in a cancer support group. And so, today, I want to talk about why social movements are important to everyone and actually offer the chance for healing and internal reflection. This ties into my Facebook Live from last week where I talk about the abundance mindset. If you didn’t get the chance to watch this Live, that’s okay, I’ll briefly fill you in. Otherwise, you can access it in the show notes. The abundance mindset means realizing that just because someone else gets something or has something, it doesn’t mean that there is less supply for you. I use a metaphor of buying a book from a bookstore with limited supply. If you’re worried about stock running out or not getting a book, this is an example of a finite mindset. An abundance mindset is when you realize that there are not only other bookstores stocking the same book but that it can be downloaded an unlimited number of times online. The abundance mindset doesn’t only apply to physical things but also social issues or challenges in your life. So when I talk about Black Lives Matter or when you talk about the movement, it doesn’t take away compassion or awareness for your cancer treatments, healing or recovery. In fact, it does the opposite. Let me explain why. When we are happy, we want that for everyone else. This quote from Stephen Covey says it well: “When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger”. In a similar way, when we are unhappy we might feel resentful or upset seeing the success or happiness of other people. When I spoke to the woman in my Facebook group who was upset about me posting about Black Lives Matter, I invited her to consider this question: “Where else in your life are you not facing a major challenge, and instead are pretending that it doesn’t exist?” I asked her to assess this because I believe that this can challenge binary thinking and actually be a breakthrough to healing. When we openly attack others on and individual or collective level, we should reflect on our own life: what is missing, or what in your live if not working right now, that you have a need to bully someone, to verbally abuse someone, to hate a group or people? What’s going on inside you? Where are the hate, anger and rage coming from? Our true human nature is not to ever hurt someone else or act out. But sometimes, for various reasons, we as humans can become prone to binary thinking. Binary thinking is when we engage from a place of emotions that can lead to polarization. We are all prone to binary thinking. For example, I might have a preferred method of folding clothes. Because I’ve been folding my clothes like this for years and it’s always worked well -- I now tell all my friends and family that this is the best method for folding clothes. This doesn’t come from a harmful place. In fact, it comes from a good place, because I want to help others. But what if my friend, who has researched multiple ways of folding clothes, suggests a different way to fold clothes? If I tell her she’s wrong because my method has worked for years, then I am experiencing binary thinking. But if I am open to listening to the research she’s done and try her methods, I might discover that there’s actually a quicker and more efficient way of folding clothes. Of course, this is a micro example, and if I decide to continue folding my clothes as I always have, it won’t have a big impact on my life. But on a macro level, when we navigate life with binary thinking, like pretending the Black Lives Matter movement doesn’t exist, it means we’re choosing to ignore something major that’s happening in history or even in our lives. This can affect other areas of your life as well. When we are triggered externally by something, it’s important that we assess this internally. Reflecting on these triggers and asking important questions can mean finding out what’s perhaps lacking in our own life which is the first step to healing. This requires some deep inner work that allows us to move forward in an authentic and meaningful way. To start this inner work, I would like to encourage you to ask yourself two questions about something that triggers you or makes you unhappy. The first question I’d like you to ask yourself is this: “What am I doing that’s contributing to what I’m experiencing?” And the second question is: “What can I do to change this particular experience?” If we use career as an example, you might find that you are unhappy at work. This could be because you’re working long hours, your work is causing anxiety or stress, you’re overworked, tired, and feel like your job is taking over your personal life. You have two options here. You can carry on being unhappy, stressed and overworked from your job -- or you can ask these two questions -- and assess where the problem lies. When you ask the first question, what am I doing to contribute to this experience, you may find that you’re not setting clear boundaries with your boss or yourself. And when you look at how you can change this experience, it might mean communicating better with your boss or setting boundaries for yourself, such as taking Saturdays off from work. Of course, the answer to these questions will vary depending on your unique situation. But these questions offer a fantastic springboard for internal evaluation. This really goes back to taking 100% responsibility for our own experiences, which I spoke about in my Facebook Live a few weeks ago. For those who haven’t watched this video, you can access the link in the show notes. In this video, I mentioned how taking 100% responsibility means your attitude changes, your thinking shifts -- and you experience this “all in” energy that is essential for healing your body, society, and life at large. Taking 100% responsibility also means challenging binary thinking. The best way to challenge binary thinking is to look beyond your own reactions. This sometimes means being ready to internally examine what you are pretending doesn’t exist -- which could be Black Lives Matter or that there are other ways to fold clothes. The most important part of looking beyond our own reactions and challenging binary thinking is that this is what helps us find our ultimate truth and set us free. It allows us to release all of the negative emotions that are attached to our thinking and beliefs prior to the breakthrough. All of us want to receive compassion and all of us deserve to receive compassion. But when we are prone to excessive binary thinking, this can make it difficult for us to not only receive compassion but also to extend compassion. Compassion and empathy start with yourself. This means acknowledging your truths and experiences while simultaneously acknowledging other people’s truths and experiences. An article in Psychology Today describes this as “perspective taking”. This basically means you are taking the time to listen to other people’s experiences and acknowledging it as the truth. It means you are allowing yourself to be curious about other people’s experiences. It also means you are eliminating shame and judgement. Since humans usually don’t judge others when our self-worth is stable, it’s important that we pay close attention to our own triggers and issues. Identifying these triggers is often key to our path of healing. Once you have internally examined what you’re pretending doesn’t exist and are ready to face it -- you’ve reached the stage of acceptance. This is the starting point for making a change. On a macro level, if every human was able to fight binary thinking and be more compassionate, this would change the world as we know it today. Our collective outlook on life and the choices we make would be more aligned with inclusion, justice and peace. This means making different decisions, choices and acting completely differently. And so, to end off this podcast episode and the season two of Truth & Dare Cancer podcast, I’d like to challenge you to ask yourself this: “Are you prone to binary thinking in any areas of your life? And if so, where and how? And how can you change this?” I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on challenging binary thinking or how you are challenging it in your own life. To share your ideas, just tag me on Facebook or Instagram - @truthanddarecancer handle. And in the meantime, I dare you to find the truth in your cancer. Thanks for tuning in. If you want to stop identifying with your cancer, you can download a free “You Are Not Your Cancer” guide at www.truthanddarecancer.com/podcastfreeguide.

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