Ep #47: Part 4: The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief: Depression

Today’s episode is a part 4 in a 5-part series called The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief, and today’s segment is all about Depression. When it comes to cancer, depression often descends when we realize that who we were before cancer is gone or forever changed. I’ll teach you how to cope with depression, and help you return to the present moment in a constructive way.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

+  What’s normal - and what’s not - in terms of feeling depressed on your cancer journey

+  How depression affects cancer progression

+  Creative ways to reconnect with yourself and your life

+  Plus, I share my own story of moving through depression during my cancer treatment

+  Truth & Dare Quote: On cancer journey you experience grief and with it, the normal stage of depression.

Featured on the Show:

+  Episode TDC #35: The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief

+  Episode TDC #44: Part 1: The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief: Denial

+  Episode TDC #45: Part 2: The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief: Anger

+  Episode TDC #46: Part 3: The 5 Stages of Cancer Grief: Bargaining

+  Book Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing by Caroline Myss

+  Book On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

+   WANT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU DESERVE? Whether your goal is to get healthy, change careers, improve relationships, focus on self-care… You can create whatever you desire. If you need help figuring it out, it's time for private coaching, no more waiting for Monday.

+  Are you looking to use your cancer as a catalyst for emotional self-awareness and powerful change in your life? That’s exactly what my work with Truth & Dare Cancer is all about. If you need help getting started, book a free consultation call, and we’ll explore how you can take the first step. To schedule go to truthanddarecancer.com/call.

+  Join the Truth & Dare Cancer Facebook Community. It’s a safe space where I and lots of other like-minded women with cancer hang out and share our stories, struggles, tips, and support.

+  I’d love to hear your perspective and thoughts about the conceptual cancer topic – just tag me on Facebook or Instagram @truthanddarecancer handle

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Truth & Dare Cancer, the only podcast that teaches you how to supercharge your self-healer, navigate fear, and recalibrate your life by using cancer as a powerful catalyst for change. On this show we get real about all things cancer. And now here’s your host, cancer survivor, mathematician and certified life coach, Ceca Mijatovic. Hello and welcome back! You are listening to the episode number 47 of the Truth & Dare Cancer Podcast. If you have not yet done so please subscribe to us on Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast, and like us on Facebook. Just use @truthanddarecancer handle on Facebook, Instagram, and other social platforms. To access the show notes for this episode go to truthanddarecancer.com/podcast and select episode number 47.   I’m your host Ceca Mijatovic and today we are diving into part 4 of a 5-part series on how to embrace the 5 Stages of Cancer Grief. In the first three parts of this series, we covered denial, anger, and bargaining. You can learn more about how to deal with those three stages of cancer grief in episodes 44, 45 and 46 respectively.    Today we’re diving into depression topic.  Depression is probably the most commonly accepted form of grief in our culture. It represents the emptiness we feel when we are living in reality and realize the person or situation we’re grieving is gone or over. When it comes to cancer, depression often descends when we realize that who we were before cancer is gone or forever changed. In this stage, you might withdraw from life, feel numb, live in a fog, and not want to get out of bed. The world might seem too much and too overwhelming for you to face. You don’t want to be around others, don’t feel like talking, and experience feelings of hopelessness. You may have trouble sleeping and concentrating, you may lack your usual energy, or you may find yourself crying unexpectedly. It’s important to remember that nothing has gone wrong here. Confronting cancer and the losses it entails understandably leads to great sadness. Of course, you are experiencing grief and with it, the normal stage of depression. When I was experiencing depression during my own cancer journey, at my lowest point I felt indifferent to whether I lived or died. Having uterine cancer, I knew that I had a higher risk for colon and bladder cancers. When I was going through treatment and feeling extremely sick and low energy, I had thoughts of, “What’s the point.” So how do we handle this? How do we move through the depression stage of grief? Because I was already trained as a coach, I knew how to work with people feeling disconnected from an area of life. For myself, feeling indifferent to living or dying was feeling disconnected in ALL areas of my life. Seeking a point of true connection became paramount for me. I love nature, so I went for a walk by myself. It began to rain, which gave me permission to cry. I began to open up and feel connected to what I was seeing and experiencing: the rain, the sky, the trees, the earth. That connection with nature was, for me, the beginning of coming back to myself. It doesn’t mean that I was out of my depression by any means, but I was allowing emotions to start flowing through my body. I started feeling present in my depression, and as a result, made better choices when it came to self-care and taking the steps to process this stage of grief.   What is it for you? Every person’s responsibility is to know themselves. What is your why? What is the person or the thing, in the present moment, that can bring you back to connection? For some it’s a relationship: with a child, spouse, parent or friend. For others it might be nature, like me. Art is another great window into connection - whether that’s dance, music, or painting. If you love making art, and are unable to in your present condition, search for ways to experience art - even virtually. Another possible avenue for moving through the depression stage of cancer grief is through energy healing. In her book Anatomy of the Spirit, Caroline Myss describes how our emotional energy converts into biological matter through a highly complex process. She writes, “Just as radio stations operate according to specific energy wavelengths, each organ and system in the body is calibrated to absorb and process specific emotional and psychological energies. … Each area of the body transmits energy on a specific, detailed frequency, and when we are healthy, all are “in tune.”” Working with an energy healer to release stored negative emotion can make it easier to move through the stages of grief. I also want to touch on warning signs for when depression as a normal stage of cancer grief morphs into clinical depression, which is cause for concern. There is no strong correlation of clinical depression being a precursor to cancer; however, more severe, prolonged depression is associated with more rapid progression and increased symptoms of cancer, especially pain. Symptoms of clinical depression include: A sense of hopelessness, A lack of interest in activities you typically enjoy, Insomnia (disrupted sleep) or “hypersomnia” (excessive sleeping) and ongoing fatigue, Irritability and difficulty with concentration and/or memory, Significant, unexplained weight loss or weight gain, or changes in appetite - unrelated to cancer treatments, Suicidal thoughts or feelings, or recurrent thoughts of death Treatment options for clinical depression include working with a licensed therapist or counselor and/or antidepressants. Research also shows that for some people, regular exercise is as effective in treating depression as antidepressants. At the far end of the spectrum of depressive symptoms is suicidal thoughts or feelings. If you think someone is at immediate risk of self-harm or hurting another person: Call 911 or your local emergency number. Stay with the person until help arrives. Remove any guns, knives, medications, or other things that may cause harm. Listen, but don’t judge, argue, threaten, or yell. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, get help from a crisis or suicide prevention hotline. Try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Please know, you are not alone. And did you know that I have a free closed FB group for women just like you? One essential aspect of healing is to have a community and be surrounded by other women going through cancer and experiencing so many same things as you are, especially when we talk about depression. So now you can have that experience, and you are invited to join my free closed FB community called Truth & Dare Cancer and once you join you can continue the podcast conversation with other women going through or living with cancer, who just get it. To join go to truthanddarecancer.com/facebook and I’ll also include the link in the show notes. Now, are you looking to use your cancer as a catalyst for emotional healing and powerful change in your life? That’s exactly what my work with Truth & Dare Cancer is all about. If you need help getting started, book a free consultation call, and we’ll explore how you can take the first step. To schedule go to truthanddarecancer.com/call To recap: experiencing depression is normal as we grieve the self and the life we had before cancer. Finding points of reconnection - through nature, art, or relationships - can help us move through this stage. Working with a counselor, therapist or coach can also help. If you suspect that your depression has morphed into clinical depression, talk to your doctor immediately. This is not uncommon, come up with a plan to address it, since clinical depression can have a negative impact on your cancer treatment. Be sure to tune in next week, when we’ll be finishing this series with the fifth and final stage of grief: acceptance. It promises to be lighter than today’s topic! But we have to move through the emotions of each stage to reach acceptance. If you got value from this episode and know someone else that would get value from it as well, please share it with them. And in the meantime, I dare you to find the truth in your cancer! Thanks for tuning in. If you want to stop identifying with your cancer, you can download a free “You Are Not Your Cancer” guide at www.truthanddarecancer.com/podcastfreeguide.

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